High on life.

I want the old madeline back, the one that was smiling 24/7, the one that was never bored even though she wasn’t doing anything, the one that only cried when someone had died.

my life has changed and i want it back.

i wish i could answer my own questions, how did i make this all happen?
how have i ended up crying myself to sleep everynight.
how have i gone from being so completely and utterly happy to sad.

i find myself messaging old friends that i haven’t spoken to since school just so i have someone to chill with. i feel as if people are just hanging me with me for the sake of it.

these days i am actually happy to go to work, because i feel like myself there. i laugh, i smile, i joke. as soon as i leave i cry and cry.

i’m making all the excuses as to why i should do things and why i shouldn’t.
i want to follow my heart but i know it’s making the biggest mistake. or is it. i don’t even know what to do. i don’t want to wait but i don’t want to not wait.

but i have to wait.
wait for april, then i get to actually spend time with my boyfriend and remember what it was like before. forget all the messages we’ve been living through and all the tears its bought me.
i have to wait for may, when i get to move into town and i wont have an excuse to not go out. i will actually meet up with people, go out at night and have a good time.

i wish i was better at meeting people though.
i look everyday on instagram and wish some of the people i follow were friends with me. i would do anything for their lives, do anything for a best friend. do anything for some new friends.
because at the moment i feel like i have none.

i wish someone was there to listen to me. i wish there was someone to bring me back to my old self. i wish for so many things yet nothing is changing.

i just want my life back.

Just got tumblr on my phone, oh dear. I haven’t been on here for soo long though and think you should check out instagram, it’s rad!

i need these shoes. like srsly!

but black and toes covered. OMG

i am just too lazy to do anything atm.

i don’t even feel like reblogging beautiful pictures, even though i want to.
i don’t even feel like listening to the radio, but i’m too lazy to get up and turn it off.
i just feel like my gut is empty.

although.

i just realised hamish & andy’s gap year starts tonight. if i miss it i’m going to punch someone in the face.
my parents move away tomorrow. i’m so excited to live alone!
i start my new job on monday. HELLO dental nurse!
i am just SO SO happy with life.

whilst i was writing this, my mother came and gave me a book she wrote for my birthday. it’s called ’ a mothers journal; to my daughter with love ‘. she didn’t write it but filled in the blanks. it’s all about her childhood, teenage years, husband, and just everything about her! thanks mumma. 

Anonymous asked: Pretty sure you've always wanted to see me naked.. Well.. I'm feeling pretty adventurous today so go to datelink7[dot]com (switch [dot] with .) then sign up and find my profile under the username 'lolsummer69'. I hid my face in the pictures. but I want you to guess who I am and then hit me up on Facebook lol. Good luck.

what the hell is this. and why does tumblr have scam like this?

i thought tumblr was cooler then that.

sohappysohappysohappy!

fuck i love her.

salala:

fatherrot:

http://fatherrot.tumblr.com/ask

www.salala.tumblr.com/ask

do it yo!

(Source: doll-parts)

at my holidays house this weekend. well wed, thurs, fri.

- showed my parents my photos. made me miss my kids :(
- thrashed mum at up-words.
- was disappointed by origin. 
- slept allll day.
- looking at our (hopefully) new house tomorrow!
- gonna go watch one tree hill.

being home is so good. ^__^